So...today I had time to do nothing. The house is clean. All cabinets and closets have been sorted and organized. Fresh flowers on the table. Plants watered (and living). Dinner in the crock pot. I picked up my phone and called my little brother's house. He got mom's answering machine with her message, " Hi, you've reached the Stanleys.... I miss her. I guess I figured out that you have to face grief alone...even though the person right next to you is also in pain.
I'm just going through the motions...and feeling very sorry for myself. Like I said before...I am a D.A.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
later...
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Why Take 3?
I'm thinking that life happens in 3 stages... childhood, adulthood, and retirement.
I have just hit the last stage - hence the take 3.
Just a warning...I am not a clever person and definitely not a fan of English or proper grammar so beware -- you will enjoy editing my writings. I don't care if you feel bad for my lack of proper grammar. I bet I could beat you in math. Not everyone can count to 100 50 gazillion different ways. (that is how i amuse myself when bored to death).
So I have retired after having spent many years teaching high school math, writing grants and managing educational technologies.... {computers and networks}
I guess retirement is a good thing but I am not sure yet. I have been making a bucket list for the last 6 months or so of all the things I would do as soon as I closed my office door for the last time but now I can't find it....probably left it on my desk!
I will admit that I am a bit worried about how this retirement is going to work. I absolutely love my job...I mean loved it. It was stressful but I thrive on stress and deadlines. That is when I seem to do my best work. People keep congratulating me and wishing me well. I haven't done anything except quit doing what I loved to do.
And, they didn't even replace me!! Figure that one out. Talk about a knife to the heart... or ego. I worked 60 hour weeks doing nothing I guess. For my whole life, every single time I got confident and sassy, something would happen to jerk me around and slap me back to reality.
I guess its fitting that the last stage begin in the same manner. Just one time I wanted to be seen as important and irreplaceable. I know, I'm a dumbass.
So why did I chose to retire? It seemed like a good idea at the time? My husband semi-retired a couple of years ago and wanted me to free up some time for us. I wanted to spend some more time with my mom, take her on a couple of short trips. We were going to do that this summer but she died a couple of months ago. :-( Gosh I really miss her. I feel guilty because I never gave her enough time and now that I have it I don't have her.
My mom... I have lots of stories ...good ones...funny ones...sad ones.... The important thing is that she lives on in all of us...her children and her grandchildren. I will share some stories later...when I have more time.
I am going to close now because I used to teach people HOW to blog and I would always tell them to keep it short. lesson learned.
later...
I have just hit the last stage - hence the take 3.
Just a warning...I am not a clever person and definitely not a fan of English or proper grammar so beware -- you will enjoy editing my writings. I don't care if you feel bad for my lack of proper grammar. I bet I could beat you in math. Not everyone can count to 100 50 gazillion different ways. (that is how i amuse myself when bored to death).
So I have retired after having spent many years teaching high school math, writing grants and managing educational technologies.... {computers and networks}
I guess retirement is a good thing but I am not sure yet. I have been making a bucket list for the last 6 months or so of all the things I would do as soon as I closed my office door for the last time but now I can't find it....probably left it on my desk!
I will admit that I am a bit worried about how this retirement is going to work. I absolutely love my job...I mean loved it. It was stressful but I thrive on stress and deadlines. That is when I seem to do my best work. People keep congratulating me and wishing me well. I haven't done anything except quit doing what I loved to do.
And, they didn't even replace me!! Figure that one out. Talk about a knife to the heart... or ego. I worked 60 hour weeks doing nothing I guess. For my whole life, every single time I got confident and sassy, something would happen to jerk me around and slap me back to reality.
I guess its fitting that the last stage begin in the same manner. Just one time I wanted to be seen as important and irreplaceable. I know, I'm a dumbass.
So why did I chose to retire? It seemed like a good idea at the time? My husband semi-retired a couple of years ago and wanted me to free up some time for us. I wanted to spend some more time with my mom, take her on a couple of short trips. We were going to do that this summer but she died a couple of months ago. :-( Gosh I really miss her. I feel guilty because I never gave her enough time and now that I have it I don't have her.
My mom... I have lots of stories ...good ones...funny ones...sad ones.... The important thing is that she lives on in all of us...her children and her grandchildren. I will share some stories later...when I have more time.
I am going to close now because I used to teach people HOW to blog and I would always tell them to keep it short. lesson learned.
later...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)